grace.

I can really tell that I’ve changed over the past year.




Being a teacher isn’t all fun and glory. I remember being a student and thinking how easy teachers have it, how simple it would be to step into their shoes for a day. Last year I got a huge awakening as I realized that teachers do not have an easy job, and students definitely don’t make it any easier. I got frustrated a lot when my kids were loud or when they didn’t turn in their work. There were several times when I would raise my voice in an attempt to get them to understand how “horrible” their actions were and I would spend days on end lecturing them about their behavior. I spent more time doing that, than teaching them English.



This year has been completely different. I haven’t had to raise my voice one time, and I’ve realized that speaking quietly when I am trying to get a point across has more affect than yelling at them. Today, for example (and it’s only 11:16), was our How-To evaluation day. The students wrote a how-to paper over the past few weeks, explaining to someone how to do a said project. They were to choose something that could be completed in class without the use of an oven, microwave, machine, etc. They were to bring their supplies to class today and were going to evaluate each other on their instructions. My first class has 13 students in it. Two of the 13 brought their stuff. I was livid. They had known about this for weeks and I had even reminded them over and over again on Friday that they would receive a zero for the project if they did not have their stuff. The paper is a grade and the evaluation is a grade, so receiving a zero for a test grade brought all of them (except the 2 that brought their stuff) down to failing. They don’t realize how much a zero can affect your grade.



Normally I would have yelled and gotten angry with them over this, but instead I got really quiet, told them not to speak, and explained in great detail my frustration with them and how important this grade was/is. I even praised them on being my favorite class, how well behaved they are and how much of a pleasure it is to have them all in class. Being a smaller, but still large, class really benefits them and their personalities and fun attitudes really help bring an enjoyment to my mornings. However, I explained that even though I love them dearly, I am very disappointed in their actions and lack of responsibility in this project.



After speaking to them, they didn’t say a word. They didn’t offer excuses or try to bargain with me about bringing their stuff tomorrow. Instead they sat quietly and some of them even got out their library books to read (they have a book to read every Friday, do a book talk, etc). When the bell rang, they walked out in silence.



Tomorrow we are supposed to start a Children’s book. They are supposed to create their own book and eventually complete their final draft in a hardback blank book. They will work in partners and illustrate their books, etc. At first I wasn’t sure if I was going to let them do that, because it is a fun project and I wasn’t so sure they deserve fun with how today went. But Curtis reminded me that I should show them grace. So tomorrow I’m going to explain to them my disappointment but then also explain grace and then let them do the children’s book project.



And all this got me to thinking. This is exactly what God does to me. I mess up, and instead of yelling at me, He speaks to me gently and reminds me that while I messed up and I disappointed Him, He still loves me and still grants me grace, giving me another chance to try again; to do better. Hmm…perfect, amazing grace.



You know, if anything, the incidents of today got me thinking about grace and the cross. There are so many days that I let that slip pass my mind, yet God continues to bring it every morning…and perhaps today I neeeded to be reminded of it…if even through the irresponsibility of my students.