yeah yeah.

i know you dont read this, so maybe that's why i'm posting it. because i really need to get this out of my mind and off my heart.

you know, it's not really that hard....to just love.

i think we make it harder on ourselves than it needs to be.

i think we think we have all this baggage and crap that we need to carry with us after each relationship, when in reality, with help that comes from the Lord, we can put it down, and move on. i know it's not easy, or fun, but it is possible.

i think that while we want true, wonderful, amazing love (well, "like" first), deep down we are absolutely scared of it, and therefore, run from it.

i think that if we were to get really honest, we would see that there are more pluses for us to be together than negatives.

i think that if words like this could be said in person instead of through a blog or a text message, that our lives would be a lot easier.

i think that the reason i get so frustrated with all this, is because i care for you.

i think that i'm not good enough for you.

i think we run because it's safe.

i think you are the most caring, amazing man i've ever met - ever. not only do you love Jesus, but you love your family and you are passionate about life and the things you are given in this life.

i think that it's because of the things you've been through in your life, that you are guarded.

i think that without those things, we would not be able to be friends today.

i think i've pushed you away from my heart for so long because i dont want it broken.

i think, honestly, that the conversations we've had in the past week have been the best ones of our friendship - well so was that week last year when we really jumped into the friendship.

i think that God still has stuff to do in us, and through us, and with us, before we step forward.

i think that i'm scared to lose you.

i think that while my heart wants to leap out of my chest and my brain goes in full swing when talking to you, that sometimes it's ok to feel that way, because it reminds me that i am alive and that i can still feel.

i think i'm ok with how things are now (no, i know i am ok).




i think i think too much.