here and now...

I’ve been learning lately that it is so incredibly important to find contentment in the present. It is so easy to dwell on the “i wish i hads” and ”if onlys” in life – that we can miss the great things that are right in front of our eyes. I have been guilty of that so much in the past – saying over and over again that if i had this job, this car, this house, this guy, this whatever, then my life would be a perfect bed of roses, that then I would and could be happy. I’ve caught myself thinking about the past, about wonderful things/people that I wish were still a part of my everyday world- and feeling that if I had worked harder at certain relationships then things would’ve turned out differently; then those people/things would still exist in my world today.




But I can’t control those things – the past - I can’t go back and change the situation or the words said, I can’t undo the outcome and take a different path. I can’t wonder what could have been or spend time going over the conversations in my head trying to figure out what I could have said/done differently. After all, even if I close my eyes and squeeze them tight enough…when I open them, the situation will still be the same, life will still be the same.



But I can take advantage of the here and now, of the chance to establish meaningful moments, without worrying or even thinking about what tomorrow brings. I am only guaranteed this moment, after all, so why not take advantage of the greatness that lies in it? Of course, there are times when my emotions get the best of me and I begin to wonder and dream and desire so badly for the future, to know what my life will be like someday. It’s moments like this where the Lord reminds me of Jeremiah 29:11,that he already has my life planned out, and all I need to do is trust Him, and follow as He lays each day out before me.



All that said, I’m pretty content with life these days. For the first time in a long time, I am learning to thrive; to be ok with where I am. I’m not saying that it is easy. There are many times where I have to give myself a pep talk and write notes to myself all over my mirror reminding me to focus my attention on other things. I am looking forward to the future, to what God has decided to bless my life with. And while I yearn for those days, I choose to simply be content with the now.