bedtime prayers

Over the past several years this blog has evolved (and failed to thrive) from one phase of life to another. I've decided to [attempt] to post different moments, mess-ups, letters, prayers, and such as I experience life as a 1st time mom. Below you'll find my first post ...


Dear little one,

Tonight I put you to bed. That's usually reserved for your daddy but he was at choir practice so I took on the bedtime routine. In fact, he's been the bed-time-guy since you were about 6 months old. Let's face it, he's just better at it than me. He must have a secret he's keeping from me because I cannot get you to sleep as fast as he can...

We tried several different methods tonight, but let's face it - you're just not a good sleeper so we struggle a lot with bedtime/sleeping. Surely you'll grow out of that one day. I promise to try to remember this when you're a teenager and sleeping until noon.

I started out in bed beside you, trying hard not to move or disturb you, but a toddler bed just isn't made for co-anything. We laughed, and sang, and prayed. We prayed for our entire family, and Mickey Mouse  (of course), and all your school friends. Then we laughed some more. That's one thing I'm so thankful for - your laughter and giggle. I said "I love you" and "goodnight" and you repeated in a sweet whisper "lub you too" --- and we snuggled in to go to sleep.

When you finally settled, I moved to the recliner in your room. At first I just rocked and stared at the clock - hoping desperately for you to fall asleep so I could sneak out and have some time to myself. But as the moments ticked away, I started to pray...

I prayed first for you to come to know the Lord. I prayed that your daddy and I would be great examples and lead you in the path toward His grace. I prayed for boldness with your faith, and that we would always encourage that boldness. I asked for the Lord to continue to mold us to be the parents YOU need, to be exactly who God wants us to be for Him and for you. We want to do everything we can to point you to Jesus.

I continued to pray...asking the Lord to allow you to always be as spunky and fun as you are now. You are such a fun little girl, and have been since you were born. You've been such an "easy" baby. We have enjoyed every moment with you (even the toddler tantrums). I prayed that He would allow your personality to develop in a way that only He can and that He would use your sweet heart, laughter, and easy going personality (minus the toddler tantrums of course) to be used for His glory. I also threw in a few words to help us with the whole sharing with others thing. Surely you'll grow out of that, too. ;)

.....And then, in the middle of my prayer, I saw you stir. I held my breath, hoping you'd turn over and go back to sleep. Instead, you sat up in bed, looked at me, and said my name. I reminded you that I was still here. You scooted to the edge of your bed, grabbed your blanket and toddled toward me -  You said "Mama rock" and climbed into my lap... For the first time in several weeks, I rocked you to sleep. (we've been weaning you from being rocked)

And as you fell asleep, I thanked the Lord for allowing you to be here, for entrusting us with your life and your journey. I asked that He would continue to make you an amazing little girl, who loves to laugh. And that I would always join in laughter moments with you.

I placed you in your bed, covered you up with your blanket, and tip-toed out of the room. But even as I sit here, I am so thankful for the sweet moments we were able to share tonight. And I hope that even when you're grown and way too big...you'll still be the little girl who wants to be close to her mama, who wants to climb in my lap...

I love you little girl.

I'm so thankful to be yours.

Love,
Mama

20 week update!!

Baby Mc is 20 WEEKS!!!!! woohoo!! We've finally reached the 1/2 way point to our sweet blessing arriving! 

Baby is: the size of a banana!! :) He/she weights about 10.5 ounces. Now that we're at 20 weeks, we get to start measuring baby length from head to toe (before it was head to his/her tail-end). Baby Mc is about 10 inches long (almost a whole foot!)!

Symptoms: I still get nauseous some days but not anywhere close to what it was in the beginning! I've had some headaches and the typical runny nose that a lot of pregnant women get. I'm still not sleeping, but most of the time that's because baby is moving around and kicking so much! That is totally something I can deal with because I love feeling baby kick! :) 

Cravings: french fries, pickles, mexican food, candy, LOTS OF FRUIT!! (although I liked all of that pre-pregnancy, lol). And I'm really loving CEREAL! Any kind, any time of the day...I could eat it for every meal! Specifically I've been stuck on Raisin Bran, but will eat whatever is in the cabinet! 

Aversions: I can eat anything now, unless I'm feeling nauseous and then I don't want to eat anything.

Drinking: As much water as I can! And still getting in my one caffeinated beverage in per day.

Clothes: Still in the same clothes. 

Baby’s heartbeat: 145 (again) on July 11

Gender: No clue. Regardless, we've decided we either have a gymnast, karate kid, soccer player, or really fantastic kickball champion in our future :) This baby loves to move and kick, at all times of the day! :) 

What I miss: Sleeping well, feeling "normal"...

What I’m looking forward to: Finding out if we're having a boy/girl. We find out Wednesday (Lane's birthday), and then will have to keep it a secret for 10 days! The only reason we're going to find out before our party is because our sono is scheduled on Lane's birthday :)

The Power of a Hand

I love sleep.

I know what you're thinking...and yes, I realize that once baby comes I will no longer love sleep. Or at least no longer be able to sleep.... but until baby comes I will enjoy my nights of peaceful slumber.

I like to fall sleep in my own way, sleep my own way (on whichever side I decide that day), and with my own pillow (I usually even take it when traveling). And, for 28 years I enjoyed that sleep... It was wonderful and perfect and lovely. Then, I got married.

And found out that Lane snores. [sometimes]

[Not every night...but most nights. Not ridiculously loud...but loud enough to disturb my slumber.]

I knew within that first week that I HAD to find a solution. I wasn't going to wear ear plugs (I was afraid I wouldn't hear my alarm), and being the sweet newly-married wife, I wasn't going to hit and push and wake him up.

I prayed. and prayed. and prayed. I just knew that God was going to answer my prayer of making Lane a non-snorer. But, it didn't happen...


After enduring several weeks of annoyance, and being the problem solving person I am, I went and got him some Breathe Right strips. [and they worked!!!] For the first time since saying "I do" I had a perfect, uninterrupted sweet sleep! It was perfect...for a few months...until his snoring broke through the strips and pierced my ears (ok, ok, I exaggerate).

I was back to the drawing board...there had to be SOMETHING that would stop his snoring...SOMETHING that would allow me to finally sleep as great as I did before marriage (I know, it's all about me, right? lol). Then one night, in the middle of listening to him create a music melody with his nose, I reached out and put my hand on his back...

And, within seconds, the snoring STOPPED!!!

The next morning I asked Lane if he felt me put my hand on his back and he said no, so I knew we might've found a winner in the snoring fiasco. I tried it again the next night...and like before, as soon as my hand rested on his back, the snoring STOPPED!! Praise Jesus above! I was shouting and screaming (in my head of course...didn't want to wake up the sleeping prince) to God for stopping the snoring so I could rest!

All that to say, there is a beautiful sweet power that exists in the palm of my hand, and in which when placed upon his snoring back, God grants my plea and my wonderful husband quiets, and our room returns to a solace for the remainder of my nights rest. :)

[that is, until November, when babyMc makes his/her debut] ;)

Our McFamily is McExpanding: 16 weeks and counting

It's been almost a year and a half since I blogged last, and so on my fun summer vacation I figured I'd start back up with writing and making notes of all the memories our little McFamily is making. :) 

Since last writing:

• Lane and I got married (we celebrated a year on May 12),
• we welcomed a sweet pup named Penny into our family (who will turn a year old in July), 
• we bought a wonderful little house in Hallsville ISD
• both landed new jobs (Lane at GSMC as an RN and me at Hallsville ISD as a teacher at the junior high),
• and found out mid-March that we're expecting our first miracle blessing in November (Thanksgiving Day to be exact!!!).

Now that we're in the beginning months of our 2nd year, I figured it's as good a time as any to start blogging again. :) 

I also figured I'd follow the trend and my friend April and start keeping tabs on this pregnancy journey. That's where this first post is heading... She answers questions weekly about baby and how things are going so...here goes nothing. :)

Baby is: According to Babycenter, baby is the size of an avocado and is about 4.5 inches long and weighs about 3.5 ounces. Apparently within the next few weeks I'll start feeling baby move. Right now I just feel baby flutters every now and then.

Symptoms: Nausea is finally slowing down. PRAISE THE LORD! After being nauseous for 16 weeks, it's about time for feeling better! My body didn't like the hormones apparently! :) Other than that, I'm feeling pretty "normal."

Sleep depends on the night. Sometimes I toss and turn and can't get comfortable, other times I sleep deeply and don't move. Today, I didn't even hear Lane's alarm go off or him get ready for work. Must've been one of those deep sleep nights. :)

Cravings: french fries. ketchup (not by itself...that's gross). PICKLES!! 

Aversions: Last week it was meat. We made several different dinners and I couldn't make myself eat the meat. Not sure if it was texture, smell, or what but it was not my friend. Last night I had grilled chicken and that was really good. Maybe it was just a "last week" thing. 

Drinking: As much water as I can! And still getting in my one caffeinated beverage in per day.

Clothes: Still in the same clothes. Some things are getting tighter and I'm now hanging most of my clothing items instead of putting them in the dryer, but I expect by the end of summer to need the beginnings of a maternity wardrobe.

Baby’s heartbeat: 145 on June 12. 

Gender: No idea, but with the heartbeat, I have a feeling it's going to be a boy. Regardless, of legos or princess attire, we just want a healthy baby.

What I miss: Energy! Not feeling like it's a million degrees in our house. I'm hot all the time! 

What I’m looking forward to: Our gender reveal (early to mid July), decorating the baby room, and being able to call this baby by name. :)

Well, I guess that's enough information and fun for my first post back. Thanks again to April for providing the questions that you'll be enjoying each week, along with the wonderful things that happen in our oh-so-exciting McFamily ;) Thanks for joining, and reading...

Until next time :)

My Proverbs 31 Challenge. Introduction. :)

Ever since I entered the youth group as a cute overly awkward seventh grader, the concept of being a "Proverbs 31 woman" has been preached at me. I don't mean this in a negative way at all, but almost every year we had some sort of bible study or girls party or sunday school lesson over being this type of wife for our future husbands. I have read it in probably every translation, listened to songs about it, read books about it, ...anything that has to do with being a P31, I've probably experienced it. 

But, tonight, as I was sitting at my computer checking facebook, I came across a video a friend of mine had posted about a guy from Baylor who has decided he wants "a proverbs 31 woman instead of a victoria secret model". His points were valid and as I watched his video, I started to pray. As he read each verse, I wondered if I could be that for Lane. Can I be the woman that we've always been told we need to be? As I listened to each verse, I realized that I'm far from a lot of those characteristics, and some, I'll probably never be able to attain, BUT at the same time I got really excited that being a "proverbs 31 woman" isn't an overnight thing, it's a constant growing process that I'll learn as our married life begins. And, I've got the rest of our married lives to grow and become the wife I've been called to be!! 

Side note: It would be cool, though, if, I acquired those qualities as soon as we say "I do". Almost like a fairy tale disney movie. The lights and glitter and swirl of the pretty colors would encompass us, and I would suddenly be transformed :) haha. 

Back to reality...

I've decided to really start focusing on these verses from now until we get married. I want to really dive into each verse and see what Gods Word says about the quality in other areas of scripture, and see how I can adapt that verse into my life. I plan to blog about this process (if I can remember to. haha), and I hope you'll join me as I discover what it truly means to be a proverbs 31 woman. I am excited to see what the Lord shows me through this. :) 

After all, if I were to be REALLY honest with you...I so desperately want to be the wife Lane needs. I want to be able to take each verse and be that for him. I desire so much to be shaped by the Lord into the wife that will have the qualities that will compliment Lane and I pray that between now and May 12, that the Lord will instill in me, the qualities that I don't yet have and that He'll perfect in me, the ones that are already there. :) 

For now, I'll leave you with where it all begins... 

¹⁰ A wife of noble character who can find?    She is worth far more than rubies. ¹¹ Her husband has full confidence in her    and lacks nothing of value. ¹² She brings him good, not harm,    all the days of her life. ¹³ She selects wool and flax    and works with eager hands. ¹⁴ She is like the merchant ships,    bringing her food from afar. ¹⁵ She gets up while it is still night;    she provides food for her family    and portions for her female servants. ¹⁶ She considers a field and buys it;    out of her earnings she plants a vineyard. ¹⁷ She sets about her work vigorously;    her arms are strong for her tasks. ¹⁸ She sees that her trading is profitable,    and her lamp does not go out at night. ¹⁹ In her hand she holds the distaff    and grasps the spindle with her fingers. ²⁰ She opens her arms to the poor    and extends her hands to the needy. ²¹ When it snows, she has no fear for her household;    for all of them are clothed in scarlet. ²² She makes coverings for her bed;    she is clothed in fine linen and purple. ²³ Her husband is respected at the city gate,    where he takes his seat among the elders of the land. ²⁴ She makes linen garments and sells them,    and supplies the merchants with sashes. ²⁵ She is clothed with strength and dignity;    she can laugh at the days to come. ²⁶ She speaks with wisdom,    and faithful instruction is on her tongue. ²⁷ She watches over the affairs of her household    and does not eat the bread of idleness. ²⁸ Her children arise and call her blessed;    her husband also, and he praises her: ²⁹ “Many women do noble things,    but you surpass them all.” ³⁰ Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting;    but a woman who fears the LORD is to be praised. ³¹ Honor her for all that her hands have done,    and let her works bring her praise at the city gate.

Wedding Planning 101

When Lane proposed back in May, I had many people give advice on the subject of wedding planning. Most warned me against becoming a "bridezilla" while others pushed their opinions on me on how to avoid all the stresses of planning (or even pushed the idea of eloping), and yet, the positive, exciting stories were few and far between.


We are 221 days from "The BIG Day" and 4 months since Lane got down on one knee and popped the big question, and so far, I am LOVING planning this wedding! Every single part of it so far - even the boring, tedious, part of making wedding favors - has been a BLAST! I have loved choosing the wording on the invitation, designing the save-the-date, trying on dresses. I have soaked up the task of choosing colors, and bridesmaids, and deciding on decorations. And while I know there will be days when I'd rather not work on something wedding related (don't we all feel that way with our jobs, chores, etc at some point anyway?), I am really enjoying the entire process. 


Maybe part of the "easiness" of being a bride - for me - is the fact that we have almost an entire year to plan the celebration. I won't lie and say that sometimes I just wish it was here already - but what bride-to-be doesn't want her wedding to come faster than planned? But, all in all, it's been easy. We handle one big task per month - whether that be centerpieces, flowers, or wedding favors - we take it one task at a time, and worry about the little things in between all that. My parents have been a HUGE help with everything and even take initiative to get things done that I've forgotten about or don't have time for (example: talking to the rental place about chairs/tables/etc). We kind of work at this wedding thing as a team. We have all (including Lane's family) taken part in getting things done, and making sure addresses are current, showers are planned, and that we don't forget to order our cake - or some other important thing! :)


Dare I say that I would love to do this as a career - help brides plan their special day. I would revel in the joy of being able to make their planning months as smooth and fun as mine have been - all the while making it cost effective, trendy, and beautiful. 


So, from now until we say "I do" I've decided to give little pieces of advice here and there on how to survive and ENJOY planning a wedding. 


This month's advice: take it one task at a time. Make a calendar (either on paper or mentally) of important tasks that need to get done - picking out flowers, making the centerpieces, invitations, guest list, etc - and set aside a month to complete that task. Now, if you have a short amount of time, then plan to do 2 or 3 tasks per month, but separate them into weeks. That way, you aren't overwhelmed with everything at the end. Is there a possibility that you'll have 400 guest favors sitting in your living room for several months? Yes. But, you'll be glad when it comes down to crunch time that you don't have to do those 400 favors :) 


I'll leave you with some sneak peeks at our engagement pictures session a few weeks ago :) We had a blast!! 

 

 

class of 2011

I've been avoiding writing this blog for quite some time...four years to be exact...but with only 2.5 weeks left of school, it's time to get this out.

A little over four years ago I stepped into my classroom for the first time, nervous and completely unprepared. On the first day, I stood in front of six classes of freshman English, wondering how in the world I was going to  convince them that English was important. As I stared into their faces, I knew I would first have to break down a few walls, because until I proved to them that I was "cool" enough for them to like, there was no way I'd persuade them that learning English is fun (and necessary). I remember taking a huge breath as I stumbled (and struggled) through my introduction, answering their questions, and explaining the ins and outs of English class. Little did I know what was in store for me as that year continued. We laughed - a lot. And we learned - a lot. (and yes, they still remember some of the stories we read, and the things that happened in class. yay!) And I yelled at them - a lot! haha. And there were some days that I just wanted to wring their necks because they were being turds and I couldn't handle it anymore! And over the course of that year, we became a family.

But, four years later, while I eagerly await June 3rd and the end of the school year (can I get an "amen"?), June 3rd will also be a bittersweet day for me.

[My first class is graduating.]


I've already decided that I'll need to get some waterproof mascara for that night.

[though the tears will have started way before that night even begins]


You know, I've heard so many people say that teenagers are rude, and disrespectful (and they are). And, I've heard many teachers complain (consistently) about how horrible kids are and how much they hate their job (so get a new one already). [And I will admit that sometimes I say those same phrases] But that first year... though it was hard and frustrating and most days I went home (after working way too late) with a huge stack of papers that needed to be graded and tears running down my face (because honestly, most days I disliked my job), ...that first year....changed my life. 


A group of teenagers changed my life. 


We've spent 4 years together. Four years learning, and messing up, and growing up. Four years making memories, attempting to capture unexplainable moments with a single picture, and trying to live each day as best as we can. We've had four years full of bad days, bad attitudes...good days, and good attitudes. Four years of laughter, yelling, tears, smiles. Four years of marching contests, football games, UIL competitions, TAKS tests. Four years of new friendships, and friendships ending...relationships starting and relationship break ups. We've had four years of conversations about life, love, dreams, family, friends, and God. For every moments these kiddos have lived in four years, I have stood on the sideline, watching them live their lives - gladly being a spectator in their high school careers. They are wonderful, amazing, spectacular people.


And, in a few short weeks, it'll be time to say goodbye.


I'm not so sure I'll handle that day very well.


They keep telling me they won't come back, that they're "sick and tired" of high school. But, you know as well as I do, that when August rolls back around - or when they get "bored" one Friday night and end up at a football game - they'll sit in the stands with their friends about how they miss it.

And I hope they do. (at least a little bit)

But, I also hope - and pray - that they step out of Rebel Stadium on the night of June 3rd, and that they take full advantage of the wide open horizon in front of them. I hope they dream BIG, and that they find ways to reach those dreams. And I hope that they don't let ANYONE or ANYTHING stand in the way of them reaching the dreams they so desperately long for.

And I pray...

...for courage, and patience, and perseverance; for belief in themselves, and faith in God. And I pray that they take time to find out who they are, that they are presented with circumstances and moments that will stretch them, and that they step out of their comfort zones to make friends with people at their colleges. I pray that they will step away from Ore City, and experience things/people/etc beyond this small town, but I also pray that they never forget their roots - where they came from, what they've been taught, and those who have been beside them from that first day in kindergarten. :)

Because of them, I questioned becoming a teacher.
Because of them, I signed a contract to try it again a second year.
Because of them, I learned what it means to live life without cliques or popularity groups.
Because of them, I learned that, when you have a bad day, it's okay to cry in front of your students.
Because of them, I learned that being transparent is the BEST policy. Always.
Because of them, I learned that being a teacher isn't about being perfect, but about being real.
Because of them, I learned that being an English teacher isn't just about grammar and literary terms, but about...listening, caring, understanding, accepting, believing, and encouraging. It's about being selfless, and giving of yourself; about how actions speak incredible volumes.
Because of them, I am still a teacher.

Of course, years will pass. I'll experience other classes and other students. I'll teach other novels and create other projects. I'll love other classes just like I love them. This class, though, will always hold a special place in my heart because they were my first class.

As I stand on the sideline on June 3rd, with a camera in my hand so as to mask the tears that will be running down my face, I will proudly watch as my first class become graduates of Ore City High School. I hope they know how proud I am of them - even though I still want to wring their necks sometimes - and how much I love them.

:)