My Proverbs 31 Challenge. Introduction. :)

Ever since I entered the youth group as a cute overly awkward seventh grader, the concept of being a "Proverbs 31 woman" has been preached at me. I don't mean this in a negative way at all, but almost every year we had some sort of bible study or girls party or sunday school lesson over being this type of wife for our future husbands. I have read it in probably every translation, listened to songs about it, read books about it, ...anything that has to do with being a P31, I've probably experienced it. 

But, tonight, as I was sitting at my computer checking facebook, I came across a video a friend of mine had posted about a guy from Baylor who has decided he wants "a proverbs 31 woman instead of a victoria secret model". His points were valid and as I watched his video, I started to pray. As he read each verse, I wondered if I could be that for Lane. Can I be the woman that we've always been told we need to be? As I listened to each verse, I realized that I'm far from a lot of those characteristics, and some, I'll probably never be able to attain, BUT at the same time I got really excited that being a "proverbs 31 woman" isn't an overnight thing, it's a constant growing process that I'll learn as our married life begins. And, I've got the rest of our married lives to grow and become the wife I've been called to be!! 

Side note: It would be cool, though, if, I acquired those qualities as soon as we say "I do". Almost like a fairy tale disney movie. The lights and glitter and swirl of the pretty colors would encompass us, and I would suddenly be transformed :) haha. 

Back to reality...

I've decided to really start focusing on these verses from now until we get married. I want to really dive into each verse and see what Gods Word says about the quality in other areas of scripture, and see how I can adapt that verse into my life. I plan to blog about this process (if I can remember to. haha), and I hope you'll join me as I discover what it truly means to be a proverbs 31 woman. I am excited to see what the Lord shows me through this. :) 

After all, if I were to be REALLY honest with you...I so desperately want to be the wife Lane needs. I want to be able to take each verse and be that for him. I desire so much to be shaped by the Lord into the wife that will have the qualities that will compliment Lane and I pray that between now and May 12, that the Lord will instill in me, the qualities that I don't yet have and that He'll perfect in me, the ones that are already there. :) 

For now, I'll leave you with where it all begins... 

¹⁰ A wife of noble character who can find?    She is worth far more than rubies. ¹¹ Her husband has full confidence in her    and lacks nothing of value. ¹² She brings him good, not harm,    all the days of her life. ¹³ She selects wool and flax    and works with eager hands. ¹⁴ She is like the merchant ships,    bringing her food from afar. ¹⁵ She gets up while it is still night;    she provides food for her family    and portions for her female servants. ¹⁶ She considers a field and buys it;    out of her earnings she plants a vineyard. ¹⁷ She sets about her work vigorously;    her arms are strong for her tasks. ¹⁸ She sees that her trading is profitable,    and her lamp does not go out at night. ¹⁹ In her hand she holds the distaff    and grasps the spindle with her fingers. ²⁰ She opens her arms to the poor    and extends her hands to the needy. ²¹ When it snows, she has no fear for her household;    for all of them are clothed in scarlet. ²² She makes coverings for her bed;    she is clothed in fine linen and purple. ²³ Her husband is respected at the city gate,    where he takes his seat among the elders of the land. ²⁴ She makes linen garments and sells them,    and supplies the merchants with sashes. ²⁵ She is clothed with strength and dignity;    she can laugh at the days to come. ²⁶ She speaks with wisdom,    and faithful instruction is on her tongue. ²⁷ She watches over the affairs of her household    and does not eat the bread of idleness. ²⁸ Her children arise and call her blessed;    her husband also, and he praises her: ²⁹ “Many women do noble things,    but you surpass them all.” ³⁰ Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting;    but a woman who fears the LORD is to be praised. ³¹ Honor her for all that her hands have done,    and let her works bring her praise at the city gate.

Wedding Planning 101

When Lane proposed back in May, I had many people give advice on the subject of wedding planning. Most warned me against becoming a "bridezilla" while others pushed their opinions on me on how to avoid all the stresses of planning (or even pushed the idea of eloping), and yet, the positive, exciting stories were few and far between.


We are 221 days from "The BIG Day" and 4 months since Lane got down on one knee and popped the big question, and so far, I am LOVING planning this wedding! Every single part of it so far - even the boring, tedious, part of making wedding favors - has been a BLAST! I have loved choosing the wording on the invitation, designing the save-the-date, trying on dresses. I have soaked up the task of choosing colors, and bridesmaids, and deciding on decorations. And while I know there will be days when I'd rather not work on something wedding related (don't we all feel that way with our jobs, chores, etc at some point anyway?), I am really enjoying the entire process. 


Maybe part of the "easiness" of being a bride - for me - is the fact that we have almost an entire year to plan the celebration. I won't lie and say that sometimes I just wish it was here already - but what bride-to-be doesn't want her wedding to come faster than planned? But, all in all, it's been easy. We handle one big task per month - whether that be centerpieces, flowers, or wedding favors - we take it one task at a time, and worry about the little things in between all that. My parents have been a HUGE help with everything and even take initiative to get things done that I've forgotten about or don't have time for (example: talking to the rental place about chairs/tables/etc). We kind of work at this wedding thing as a team. We have all (including Lane's family) taken part in getting things done, and making sure addresses are current, showers are planned, and that we don't forget to order our cake - or some other important thing! :)


Dare I say that I would love to do this as a career - help brides plan their special day. I would revel in the joy of being able to make their planning months as smooth and fun as mine have been - all the while making it cost effective, trendy, and beautiful. 


So, from now until we say "I do" I've decided to give little pieces of advice here and there on how to survive and ENJOY planning a wedding. 


This month's advice: take it one task at a time. Make a calendar (either on paper or mentally) of important tasks that need to get done - picking out flowers, making the centerpieces, invitations, guest list, etc - and set aside a month to complete that task. Now, if you have a short amount of time, then plan to do 2 or 3 tasks per month, but separate them into weeks. That way, you aren't overwhelmed with everything at the end. Is there a possibility that you'll have 400 guest favors sitting in your living room for several months? Yes. But, you'll be glad when it comes down to crunch time that you don't have to do those 400 favors :) 


I'll leave you with some sneak peeks at our engagement pictures session a few weeks ago :) We had a blast!! 

 

 

class of 2011

I've been avoiding writing this blog for quite some time...four years to be exact...but with only 2.5 weeks left of school, it's time to get this out.

A little over four years ago I stepped into my classroom for the first time, nervous and completely unprepared. On the first day, I stood in front of six classes of freshman English, wondering how in the world I was going to  convince them that English was important. As I stared into their faces, I knew I would first have to break down a few walls, because until I proved to them that I was "cool" enough for them to like, there was no way I'd persuade them that learning English is fun (and necessary). I remember taking a huge breath as I stumbled (and struggled) through my introduction, answering their questions, and explaining the ins and outs of English class. Little did I know what was in store for me as that year continued. We laughed - a lot. And we learned - a lot. (and yes, they still remember some of the stories we read, and the things that happened in class. yay!) And I yelled at them - a lot! haha. And there were some days that I just wanted to wring their necks because they were being turds and I couldn't handle it anymore! And over the course of that year, we became a family.

But, four years later, while I eagerly await June 3rd and the end of the school year (can I get an "amen"?), June 3rd will also be a bittersweet day for me.

[My first class is graduating.]


I've already decided that I'll need to get some waterproof mascara for that night.

[though the tears will have started way before that night even begins]


You know, I've heard so many people say that teenagers are rude, and disrespectful (and they are). And, I've heard many teachers complain (consistently) about how horrible kids are and how much they hate their job (so get a new one already). [And I will admit that sometimes I say those same phrases] But that first year... though it was hard and frustrating and most days I went home (after working way too late) with a huge stack of papers that needed to be graded and tears running down my face (because honestly, most days I disliked my job), ...that first year....changed my life. 


A group of teenagers changed my life. 


We've spent 4 years together. Four years learning, and messing up, and growing up. Four years making memories, attempting to capture unexplainable moments with a single picture, and trying to live each day as best as we can. We've had four years full of bad days, bad attitudes...good days, and good attitudes. Four years of laughter, yelling, tears, smiles. Four years of marching contests, football games, UIL competitions, TAKS tests. Four years of new friendships, and friendships ending...relationships starting and relationship break ups. We've had four years of conversations about life, love, dreams, family, friends, and God. For every moments these kiddos have lived in four years, I have stood on the sideline, watching them live their lives - gladly being a spectator in their high school careers. They are wonderful, amazing, spectacular people.


And, in a few short weeks, it'll be time to say goodbye.


I'm not so sure I'll handle that day very well.


They keep telling me they won't come back, that they're "sick and tired" of high school. But, you know as well as I do, that when August rolls back around - or when they get "bored" one Friday night and end up at a football game - they'll sit in the stands with their friends about how they miss it.

And I hope they do. (at least a little bit)

But, I also hope - and pray - that they step out of Rebel Stadium on the night of June 3rd, and that they take full advantage of the wide open horizon in front of them. I hope they dream BIG, and that they find ways to reach those dreams. And I hope that they don't let ANYONE or ANYTHING stand in the way of them reaching the dreams they so desperately long for.

And I pray...

...for courage, and patience, and perseverance; for belief in themselves, and faith in God. And I pray that they take time to find out who they are, that they are presented with circumstances and moments that will stretch them, and that they step out of their comfort zones to make friends with people at their colleges. I pray that they will step away from Ore City, and experience things/people/etc beyond this small town, but I also pray that they never forget their roots - where they came from, what they've been taught, and those who have been beside them from that first day in kindergarten. :)

Because of them, I questioned becoming a teacher.
Because of them, I signed a contract to try it again a second year.
Because of them, I learned what it means to live life without cliques or popularity groups.
Because of them, I learned that, when you have a bad day, it's okay to cry in front of your students.
Because of them, I learned that being transparent is the BEST policy. Always.
Because of them, I learned that being a teacher isn't about being perfect, but about being real.
Because of them, I learned that being an English teacher isn't just about grammar and literary terms, but about...listening, caring, understanding, accepting, believing, and encouraging. It's about being selfless, and giving of yourself; about how actions speak incredible volumes.
Because of them, I am still a teacher.

Of course, years will pass. I'll experience other classes and other students. I'll teach other novels and create other projects. I'll love other classes just like I love them. This class, though, will always hold a special place in my heart because they were my first class.

As I stand on the sideline on June 3rd, with a camera in my hand so as to mask the tears that will be running down my face, I will proudly watch as my first class become graduates of Ore City High School. I hope they know how proud I am of them - even though I still want to wring their necks sometimes - and how much I love them.

:)

Nerd Alert

I am a nerd.

And I blame it on my parents.

And my first grade teacher, Mrs. Coffee.

You see, they are the ones that made me read. We have family videos of me reading with mom and dad when I was around 2. From what I can tell, I was a tad bit obsessed. :) Throughout the first 6 years of my life, my parents continued to buy me books - like every parent does when their kid is learning to read - and they listened as I read to them as often as they'd let me.

Then, first grade happened.

Over the course of that school year, something magical occurred in my life... I fell in love with books.

According to Mom and Dad, I couldn't stop reading. It was the hardest (b/c I was 6 and learning all kinds of new words and such), and best year, that changed my life in ways that I cannot explain. A lot of people I talk to, a lot of my students even, hate to read. The thought of having to read more than twenty pages and their brain shuts down and they immediately conjure up a way to avoid the assignment (which, thanks to stupid Spark notes, no teacher can truly prove if they've read or not).  Put a book in their hands and their start to hyperventilate and get antsy over it.

[I don't know what that's like.]

I've always loved reading. There is a thrill that comes from painting a picture in my mind with the words that fly off the page. From a wizard slaying 'him-who-must-not-be-named' to falling in love (along with all the other girls in this world) with Michael Hosea in Redeeming Love ...books take me to a world that is so far from the one in which I live.

I firmly believe that books have shaped the woman I've become today. They enrich my vocabulary and enhance my imagination. They teach me to dream and show me how to overcome my fears. With books, I get to become whomever I want to. I am a crime solver, a doctor, a lawyer, a journalist. I am a parent whose child is battling leukemia, and an actress fighting through the chaos that comes with being famous. I step into the shoes of all kinds of people. I shed tears with characters who are mourning deaths and defeats, and again when they are celebrating great life moments. I breathe heavily as the character runs from the antagonist (the bad guy) and escape scary, intense situations just by turning the page. Their world becomes mine. I am a third party view to the things they experience. And I love every second of it.

Today, while I was watching TV, this commercial came on for the Nook (which I have, and absolutely love). They've started a new campaign called "read forever". And they have this 'anthem' they've established that I've already decided MUST become apart of my classroom next year. (I am determined to somehow display it on my wall so my kids can see it) As soon as I heard it, I went straight to Google so I could watch it again. It was incredible. And, so, because you might miss it, I've included the words and the video here for you. :)

Til all the books I read are read
and all the pens are put down
and everything there is to learn is learned 

Til tears are no longer shed
and the zingers have all zinged
and the irony is all ironed out 

Til the heroes retire
and the monsters return to their dens
and all the plots are wrapped up 

Til there are no more twists or turns
No more guns in drawers
No more shaggy dogs 

Til rhymes stop rhyming
and pots stop boiling
and everyone is happy and there’s nothing more say 

Til that day 

By hook or by crook
By book or by nook 

I will read

So maybe I am a nerd.

(mostly according to all the non-readers out there. And mom always said that people call you names because they're jealous. haha)

But I experience more in three hundred pages than some people do in a lifetime. :) And I wouldn't trade that for the world. :)

the flowers of the field...

Confession: I like pretty things.


I like making pretty things.I like buying pretty things.
I like having pretty things around my house. 


But pretty things that grow? Eh...not my style.
Having to take care of something else?
More than likely I'll forget.


     To water them.
     To walk them.
     To feed them.
     To talk to them.


[I know what you're thinking: "thank goodness she's not a mom". haha.].


For our anniversary, Lane bought me some star-gazer lily bulbs and planted them in a little pot, with a really cool garden stake thing that looks like a sun. [I don't have a picture of the sun thing yet. I'll do that soon because it's really cool!] This may not sound like a big deal to you, but star-gazer lilies are my very favorite flower!! And the fact that Lane didn't just go out and buy a bouquet that would die in a few days, but instead channeled some creativity and got me something that I can keep forever [they'll grow and then after their season, they'll go back into the soil, and then come back when it's time again. kind of gives a whole new meaning to "there is a season for everything" from Ecclesiastes]

plant beginning :)

If I were to be completely honest, half of me was really excited about watching my flowers grow and the other half of me was really afraid that (1) they wouldn't grow and (2) if they did grow, I wouldn't be able to keep them alive. However, being that it was a gift, and that is was from Lane, I had to at least try to make these it grow.

He said there were only 2 rules: Water it. And make sure it gets plenty of sun.


[seemed easy enough]


So I watered it. And waited. I checked to make sure it was getting sun, and moved it when it wasn't. And I kept waiting. Then I came home one day to this... [sorry, it won't let me rotate it]

baby bloom

I immediately caught myself saying "you're so pretty little bud" [yes, out loud] ...as I stared at the pretty blossom bud peeking up out of the soil. I was SO excited! My flower was growing! I was actually doing everything right! :) 


So I've continued to water and move my little pot into the sun when it seems like the shade had taken over. And I've made sure to compliment my little bud so it knows how very proud I am that it's growing.


[because it can totally hear me, right? haha]


But, I firmly believe that my sweet words of encouragement led to this...

baby bloom grows!

(well, along with the sun and water, of course!)


My little bud continues to change every day. In fact, there's 2 growing now (and, as Lane discovered yesterday, a third one is really close to coming through the soil) and I noticed today that the 2nd one is almost ready to spurt out like the one in the picture above. I find myself checking the pot every day when I come home to see if anything new has happened, because I don't want to miss any detail of my flowers growing. 


Today as I was looking to see what new happenings were going on with my little buds, a song popped into my head. 

"The flowers of the field
Are crying to be heard
The trees of the forest
Are singing
And all of the mountains
With one voice
Are joining the chorus of this world" [David Crowder Band]

The song talks about how creation sings so loudly, making a joyful noise to the Lord with every growth spurt. With my little bud, I feel like the more it grows, the more it sings and screams and shouts how great and awesome and incredible our God is! With every leaf that peels away from the center, with every petal that will eventually blossom...it was created (in the beginning) to bring glory to God, to make people praise Him! 


My little buds may not all make it, or they may flourish into the beautiful flowers they were intended to be. Of course, I'll keep watering them, and making sure they can see the sun. And I'll keep talking to them, letting them know how pretty they are. And regardless of what happens, and how long they last ...


...it's so very cool to have a close up view as creation worships our God! 

The Tolerator.

I'm a tolerator. [yes, i made up that word].


But, it's true. I'm really good at tolerating people; with putting up with them. I'm practically a professional tolerator. [I can add that to my resume' right?]


I tolerate the 15 year old boys who barge into my classroom, yelling, screaming, hitting, and picking on each other, because they're 15 and that's what they do. [apparently]


I tolerate the girl who never turns in her homework on time, or scoots by on her assignments by copying another girl in her class. [too bad I never can prove it, though I am 99.9% sure it's happening]


I tolerate the kid who plays basketball in my neighborhood at random times throughout the day/week(and seems, at times, to be right outside my window). [and it's warming up so he'll be out there more. woohoo]


I tolerate the people behind me in line at the store, who insist on using foul language, even when I've asked them nicely to stop.


I tolerate the attitudes about having to work in class, or the questions about where something is or how something is done in class. [although we are in the middle of the 5th six weeks and have been doing the same routine since day one. who ever said there aren't stupid questions...was wrong]


I tolerate people who constantly throw negativity in my face, and seem to always have something negative to say about something in my life. [this means their jealous of me, right? at least that what's mom/dad always have said]


I tolerate the man who seemingly always ends up in front of me at some point in my drive to school, and never fails to drive approximately 35 miles an hour. [the speed limit is 55]


I tolerate the teenager who, despite the second chances they're given, still chooses to be selfish and take advantage of people. 


I tolerate bad attitudes, bad choices, bad looks, bad people, bad breath, and bad days.


But, that's nothing - really - compared to all the tolerating the Big Man upstairs does. I mean, if you really think about it, He tolerates a lot. Complacent Christians, Fence riding "Christians", battles in the Middle East, people using His name in vain, my (at times) crappy prayer life, hypocrites, child molesters, liars,...people who are having affairs, people who are living for themselves, people who tear others down, people who create war within the world (or between others), people who...and the list could go on and on ...and on.


If you think about it, it'd be real easy for God to just reach down and squash those of us that aren't living lives reflecting Him. He could, literally, if He so chose, decide to wipe out all the people of this world who are on the enemy's side, flirting with the devil and playing along with his schemes. He could take it upon Himself to keep a tally of all the things we do wrong, and once we get to a certain number, simply thump us out of existence with a flick of his finger. (and thankfully, He's a God of grace and millions of 2nd chances, and doesn't keep a record of our wrongs!)


[But I'm sure we could think of a few people we'd like Him to get rid of...because just thinking about their sinful life irks us SO much.]


And then I remember this: "all have sinned and fallen short of the glory of God" 
And this: "thou shall have no other gods before Me" [and the rest of Exodus 20]
And this: "So, because you are lukewarm, and neither hot nor cold, I will spit you out of My mouth."


And that's just the tip of the iceberg. 


I wonder how many times I focus so much on tolerating other people and their issues (talking bad about them or explaining what I'd fix about them, or what they need to do better, or how they did 'this' and 'this' last night), that I sweep under the rug the things that He's tolerating about me... 

After all, I am called to "be holy, for I AM holy."
And to "put to death whatever is in you that is of this world, ...and put on the new self that is being renewed in the knowledge after the image of my Creator."
And to "not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that by testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect."


Right? [gulp]


Maybe this week instead of "tolerating" people and their issues, I'll try being patient with the fact that they may be different than me, or that while they may have qualities that get on my ever-loving nerves (and I want to yell and scream and strangle them b/c I'm so annoyed)... I can find a place in my heart (& attitude) to love them (1 John 4:7-8) and shine some Jesus into their life.


And maybe, I'll lift up that rug in my life where I've been sweeping all the things I know He's tolerating about me...and work on making those better in my life. 


After all, I kinda (A LOT) do like being His child. And being loved by Him. and being cared for & blessed. and being able to do His work. And being able to talk to Him. And being able to learn from Him and grow and become who He wants me to be.


[And... I'd really like to avoid being thumped out (I mean, if He so chooses to start doing that. Ha)] :)

the details of life

I firmly believe that God directs every single detail of the paths of our lives, to be and go exactly where He intended us to go and to end up, even with the "free will" we have, exactly where He wants us to end up. It's pretty neat to look back and see that, while we made certain decisions, His fingerprints are all over our paths. This past week, as reflections from the past year or so were discussed, I was blown away at His incredible attention to the details.... :) 


[to see what I mean, keep reading]


September 2009.
   One and a half years ago...

...Lane and I hunted each other down after a Shane & Shane concert so we could take this picture. We had texted throughout the entire concert, and I'm sure I was more focused on the phone conversation than on the stage. We'd been friends since earlier that summer, after we'd been introduced a 2nd time (I actually didn't remember meeting him the first time. oops. lol). From June to September we became really good friends. Best friends. We'd talked about everything under the sun, from relationships to family to school to Jesus to other life things. There was this crazy amount of transparency in our conversations, and our communication was unbelievable.  As I look back at that time in our friendship, I remember how easy it was to talk to him, and how he was the first guy I'd been friends with in a long time where I felt like I could speak my mind and heart, and never feel like he was going to shoot me down or make fun of my ideas and the things that were important to me. He listened. And yet, he also gave his opinion and talked about things in his life. And he made me laugh. A lot. His humor and wit were a staple in our friendship and he had this way of making my days better. Our friendship was something really special. 


[And I secretly thought he was cute.] :)




March 2010. Our first picture together as a couple. 
   One year ago...

...I had just gotten back from a Mavs game in Dallas with my family. Lane and I had been texting throughout the game. I remember being overly concerned that my phone was going to die in the middle of our convo, and made sure to plug it in as soon as we got in the car. Haha! I was being kind of cautious with him because a week prior we had talked about how we wanted to hang out and he made it pretty clear that he just wanted a friendship (he had gotten out of a relationship a little over a month before). It really hadn't crossed my mind to be anything more than friends, but after his comment, it seemed to stick in my thoughts. During our Mavs game convo, the subject of hanging out was brought up again. Part of me wanted to find an excuse so as to avoid the same type of conversation that we'd had the week before, but the other part of me really wanted to see and hang out with my friend. :) We decided to hang out on Sunday, as he would be passing through my town anyway on his way from his parents house back to ETBU. It was spring break, but he had to work so he was heading back to campus. 


I remember being a little nervous waiting on him to get there, but I quickly pep-talked myself into chill mode. :) After all, we were just friends, and had been for a while, and he'd already made the comment about hanging out as friends (yes, he only mentioned it once, but for a girl - once it's said, it's stuck in our minds. ridiculous, i know. ha.).


Long story made short - Lane showed up and we laughed and talked for several hours. And by several, I actually mean like 8. I don't even remember if we moved from where we were sitting, or if we even ate supper. Haha. It was one my most favorite days. :) But the cool part - was that in the middle of our conversation, it was like God was just ever-present, controlling our convo and bringing up random topics and things we had in common that proved to be part of the "little details" thing I mentioned at the beginning. 


[And that was just day one.] 


The rest of the week was spent laughing and talking and watching movies and cooking and learning about each other. Our communication was impeccable! I'd definitely rate it in my top 5 spring breaks in my life. I won't bore you with all the little details about our first week together, but I will say that it was amazing to watch God break down barriers in both of our hearts, heal broken wounds, and I'm pretty sure we said "this is crazy!" 15 thousand times as we watched Him intricately develop our friendship into a relationship. As much as we tried, we couldn't really put into words the cool stuff He was doing with us. :) 


[and over the next few months, I fell in love. beautiful, perfect, fun love. (seriously)]


March 2011. Our most recent picture together.
   One year later...

...and I still catch myself saying "this is crazy" sometimes. Because we love being together, and hanging out with each other watching movies or playing Super Nintendo or other things that most people would consider boring or lame. But we like them and we have fun :) And we don't fight or argue (in fact, we were talking this week about how while there are things we have disagreed on, we've never gotten into an argument about them. it's crazy, i know, but it's SO really cool, too!).  And we love talking to one another. And we love being in love. And I still can't explain our relationship in words that you'd understand. And I still love this man a ridiculous amount. And he still makes me laugh - a lot. (And, every once in a while, I get to be the funny one, and he laughs at something I've said. But this has only happened like 3 times in the past year. Ha.) And our communication is still awesome. I could sit here and give you tons of examples, and ways in which communication has been the key to our relationship, but instead let me just say that other than Jesus and humor, communication is definitely in the top 3 of why we get to fall in love every day. :) 


[I'll move on and not bore you with more mushy gushy stuff about how much I love Lane Patrick McClung, and list all the reasons why. I'm pretty sure if you've been around either of us for very long, you kinda pick up on the fact that we kinda like being around each other, and we kinda enjoy each other, and we kinda love each other. :)]


And about all the little intricate details that God keeps using to pave our paths... well, they keep popping up everywhere, and blowing my mind. And then, this morning as I was getting ready, I was reminded again of exactly how important details are to God...

      "The Lord directs the steps of the godly.

      He delights in every detail of their lives" [PSalm 37:23]

[Mmm...so so good. :)]


And the cool thing is that this is just one small example from my life of the "little details" that He has used. I could write post after post about His attention to things. :)


So...sign me up for another year :) I can't imagine what else You have in store for me. Surely it can't get much better than this. 


And bring on the little details :) I'm ready. 

from the heart of teenagers

My kids have these journals...


They've decorated the front and adorned the pages with their words. They write daily entries as well as ten topics per six weeks that are to be done on their own time. On the first day I told them that if there was ever anything in their journals that they didn't want me to read, then they could fold the page and I wouldn't read it. And I have kept my word. I was worried, at first, that my kiddos would turn down every page and try to sneak by the assignment, but I was proved wrong (and humbled) as I read page after page. While there were some who have chosen to ear-mark things they'd rather keep for their eyes only, as we're embarking on the 5th six weeks, it has been amazing to see that fewer of the pages are turned down.


[And how many of them are beginning to actually pour their hearts onto the pages.]


I've told them to be honest...and they have. From weekly crushes and relationships with their parents, to struggles (or joys) in their lives and their beliefs in God. I am amazed at how wise they are, and am in awe of their brutal honesty, their transparentness, their innocence, and their beautiful hearts.


Some have been through more in their first fifteen years of life than I will see in a lifetime. Some have experienced incredible tragedy, while others have lived full lives, complete with parents that are still married, food that comes readily on the table, and the "typical American family" household. Some are hurting, daily. While others are having the best time of their lives. 


They are funny and sarcastic, truthful and, at times, lazy with their work, but they're real. They've written ridiculous stories they've made up and made a list of things they're thankful for. They've had to find quotes that sum up their lives, and research poetry that pulls the emotions from their heart. (and I am not naive to think that most of them pick the first quote/poem they can find, because to make effort requires work and work is not their thing.) This past six weeks they wrote a letter to themselves 10 years from now, and expressed things they'd like to change about high school.


In fact, it was that last topic that caught me off guard as I was reading their journals for this six weeks (in between DNOW/Amped events last weekend). Most talked about the cafeteria food, the rules, going through high school without the drama among their student body, starting later in the day, and being able to use their cell phones in class. But, there were a few - in fact almost 10 of my 60 kids - whose journals expressed a change that really broke my heart. 


Their change? They'd like teachers that aren't selfish, and that truly care about them (even when they're being turds). 


[Wow.]


They didn't mention names, but I felt a pierce in my heart anyway. I try really hard to be sweet to all of my students - even to the ones who try my patience. I try to make time for each of them, to listen when they want to talk about what's on their mind. And when their heartaches spill over to their faces, and they can't hide the pain of the day, I know they'd rather be anywhere except sitting in English class learning about how to answer open-ended TAKS questions. But there are days when I'd rather send them elsewhere. Their laziness, attitudes, and lack of kindness gets to my nerves and the rumor of "Ms. Hinkle being in a bad mood" begins to swirl about the hallway. Their journals admitted to the fact that they know they are annoying sometimes, that the kids from the class period before might have made us mad, and that they do realize that we have bad days (and that we're not perfect). 


But, as they became vulnerable in the pages of their journals, I became convicted. 


No, they weren't specifically talking about me, but I could easily put myself in the situations they'd experienced, knowing that there have been times where I didn't breathe love into their lives that day. Thankfully, they still love me, even when I'm (way) less than lovable. 


I won't drag this out any longer than it needs to be, but I will say that their words reminded me of 2 things. 


#1 - 1 Thess 5:16. "Be joyful always." I know we aren't commanded to be "happy" all the time, because that would be ridiculously impossible as we're human and sometimes the things of this world just squash our laughter. But, we are told to be joyful. That means that even in the midst of unhappy times, I can exude joy. And perhaps, find a reason within to smile :)


#2 - 1 John 3:11. "This is the message you heard from the beginning: We should love one another." We are commanded to love. And this goes hand in hand with 1 Corinthians 13. After all, love is supposed to be "patient and kind", and added in there somewhere is the part about "keeping no record of wrongs" (even with my kiddos). And, since love "always protects, always trusts, always hopes, and always perseveres," I should really work on doing the same.


After all, not only is my joy and love important for 60 teenagers at 100 Rebel Road, but it's important in being a child of Christ, and being that example everywhere I go. 


So,....how's your heart and attitude with those in your life? Are you putting yourself (and your mood that day) first, or are you seeking out to show love to the people you come in contact with?